Hurt people hurt people

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Maya Angelou

I wasn’t always the nicest person. I used to be judgemental & concealed my hurt in ways by looking down on other people. It’s true that hurt people hurt people. I was struggling immensely inside and I thought by creating a hard shell around myself would protect me.

Before I got my bipolar diagnosis, I was still seeing a therapist. She explained to me: “You are no better or worse than anyone else. We are all the same.” Her words struck a chord with me.

I had spent most of my life either thinking I was better than someone or left feeling not good enough. The insecurity inside me was screaming to be heard and it lashed out sometimes on other people. Like I said, hurt people hurt people.

I would see beautiful pictures on Instagram and I would immediately feel envious, comparing their lives to mine. I think much of my life was spent looking at what other people have & never appreciating or finding the happiness within my own life.

This judgement I had towards other people was really my own lack of confidence & self love. Who am I to judge the homeless addict on the street? Maybe if I hadn’t had the support I do, that could’ve been me.

When I moved to Seattle I befriended people from all walks of life. I reframed my thinking. I knew now that I was starting over and really wanted a fresh start with my relationships. By accepting them as they were, they accepted me- flaws & all.

I recently had an acquaintance on Facebook ask me to see the animals. I didn’t know this person well but also knew we could social distance outside or wear masks if needed. It was a short visit but after she left she said, “Thank you. You have no idea how hard it’s been for me and seeing your animals was the light in my day.”

I have met countless people in my life as an extrovert. I don’t always remember the conversations, or what we actually did, but I’ll always remember how I felt being around them.

I’m sorry if I’ve ever been unkind to you. I know better now. Humans are flawed. We aren’t perfect. But by realizing our mistakes, hopefully we can bring some light into someone else’s day.