Give yourself grace

I’m a creature of routine. I love schedules. My daily schedule involves waking up by 5:30 to feed the animals & the kids are usually up by 7 and then my day really starts.

Someone asked me what life is like with three boys. It is LOUD. It is chaotic & sometimes it feels like mayhem. They are feeling the effects of the pandemic as well. We can’t go out as much so they are stuck home & I’m sure feeling restless as well. As I type this I hear thundering of footsteps running in the living room above me. Oh the noise. Coupled with me going back to teaching, it has been a little nuts over here.

I’m on medication for my bipolar disorder. While the effects calm my mood swings, it makes me very tired. It is hard dealing with my boys when I feel so physically & mentally exhausted.

I didn’t get a chance to write yesterday because I was so fatigued. I immediately felt guilty because I wanted to provide daily content but it’s hard when I have so much on my plate already.

My plate consists of wearing many “hats”. Wife, mother, teacher, friend, daughter & now a farmerish blogger. How can I find the time to do everything?

I can’t. It’s hard to give myself compassion because I feel like I have to do it all. I used to be obsessed with perfection. I wanted my house to always be tidy, laundry always put away, & I’m especially hard on my writing. Once I let go of the notion that things don’t always have to be perfect, the pressure let go too.

It’s easy to fall into the mindset that everything needs to be done in one day. But it shouldn’t come at the expense of your mental health. Life is stressful enough.

I needed to learn to give myself grace & compassion. To lighten up. To know that what really matters is those loud, rambunctious boys upstairs even though they may drive me crazy.

It’s impossible to do it all. Some days it’s hard enough to just get out of bed. So please, give yourself grace. Give yourself the kindness you deserve. And if that means leaving the dishes in the sink & watching tv instead, do it. Because if we’re very lucky, there’s always tomorrow.

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