I was recently asked to do a collaboration on another popular bipolar blog. She’s someone I met via a Facebook networking group primarily focused on mental health blogs. She had reached out to me last week but due to a depressive state, I wasn’t able to respond.
Luckily she reached out to me again to touch base & I immediately apologized for the delay. I explained that I was in a depressive state & wasn’t able to find the motivation to do more than my current obligations.
My life is full of obligations. Whose isn’t? But as someone with bipolar disorder I find myself getting very overwhelmed easily. I know I have responsibilities that NEED to get done. Priorities like feeding the animals, feeding everyone else, keeping the kids alive, etc.
It’s hard when you’re the person that everyone in the family depends on the most. As a mom I know I have to put my children’s needs above mine. It’s exhausting & leaves little time for myself.
This week has started off much better. I haven’t woken up with that empty feeling in my head. That empty feeling where I’m left feeling depleted, worn out, & vacant of any motivation.
My husband has said many times, “When you’re good- we’re good.” It’s true. The whole family can feel the shift in energy when I’m not in a depressive state. It does however make me feel horrible that my mood has such a big impact on my family.
This guilt is something that we need to let go of. We can’t help how we feel or even act sometimes. By accepting who we are, we can then take charge of our lives.
When I explained to my blogging collaborator my depressive state, she immediately sympathized. I almost started breaking down to a complete stranger because it felt so nice to be HEARD. To be heard that it’s okay. To know that she understands because she gets it & goes through it too.
I still don’t know how to properly take charge of my life. The first step I can do is accept my condition. I have bipolar disorder.
This woman’s words gave me so much hope. She told me, “I think we need to embrace that we are wired differently & modify our lifestyle. So we can have as ‘normal’ a life as possible.”
Embrace your differences. My difference between some people is that I have a mental illness that I sometimes feel like I have no control over. The only thing I can control is making sure I modify my lifestyle by taking my meds regularly, checking in with my therapist, & prioritizing the people I hold near & dear to my heart.
It’s amazing how someone’s words can change your perspective. I will probably never live a “normal” life. It will always have its ups & downs (literally). But I know if we accept ourselves & even our mental illness, it makes the fight so much easier.
Thank you Andrea for being the light in my day & giving me hope. Your words meant more to me than you’ll know.
Follow Andrea @ Mybigfatbipolarlife.com. You won’t regret it.
farmerish 