I used to repeat that phrase to myself constantly. Due to my bipolar disorder, I have had the tendency to live in chaos.
What kind of chaos? A tumultuous world of constant negative chatter in my brain which would then further compel me to engage in destructive behavior. Pretty much the opposite of the simple life I so desired.
I broke a record recently. I have felt genuinely happy since Christmas. From this past fall to now, I have been on a desperate quest to find inner peace.
Inner peace, I’ve realized, is a lofty goal. It also means different things to different people. The first question I had to ask myself when I started this journey was, “What is my inner purpose?”
The answer came to me immediately: to fully enjoy my life, completely in the present.
I had the epiphany that my dream goals in life have already been fulfilled (my family, our home, my job). The only part that was missing was me. I had to step into the present moment to truly embrace my life to find that inner peace.
So, today marks day 12 of not waking up worrying how my day is going to turn out. Now I believe that the way my day turns out, is completely up to me.
12 days of being happy. That really is a record, I don’t think I have felt this care-free since childhood. So in closing, I want to finish with what has really helped shift my thinking and that’s gratitude.
Today I am thankful for:
- My husband, who reminds me everyday what unconditional really means.
- My children, because of them I’ve learned what ultimately matters in my life.
- My friends for their endless patience.
And lastly, for anyone reading. ❤️ Thank you.